Wednesday, February 15, 2012


I was thinking the other day about love languages, and how the way we are most gifted to display love is often the way we are also most talented at hurting.For instance, if words of affirmation are your thing, you know how to make things sound good. You also know just how to dig into another person and tear them apart with your words.

I was thinking about how spiritual gifts, or what we perceive to be a gift, can be disguised and turned around in ugly, ugly ways.  Self seeking, prideful, and evil ways.  All the while, you think you are just using your wonderful gift from your wonderful God and aren't you just wonderful?
So, I have always known I am a critical person.  I know. I hate it about myself.  Instead of truly repenting of it, though, I just reason it away.  "It is good that I am critical.  It makes me not gullible to false teaching, It gives me my own opinion, etc...blah blah blah"  Disguising it as discernment, dressing up my crap.

Now, there are some times that it IS good to be critical.  Outright false doctrine is not something my ears should take in as truth.  But criticizing EVERY word someone says, as if I am looking for something to pick out as false, is NOT the way to be.  It leaves me with a handful of pride, relying only on myself.  Not trusting the community of believers around me.  It's a lonely place to be.

Something has happened this week where I had to ask someone for advice, and I had to let someone inside my head who I had been keeping away without realizing it.  I don't ask for advice.  After all, I usually would think no one else could get it right.

Man, I sound like a very terrible person.

But, for the sake of honesty, I won't rewrite that and make myself sound better.  Anyway, I asked for advice.  I got great advice, and God totally blessed me through this person.  I know we crossed paths for a reason, His reason, and I finally let go of my pride to ask for advice. Then I had to have a hard conversation with someone, one that was very, very hard, but needed and God blessed us through that, too.  He showed me I can let people see my emotions, and I can ask Godly people for advice, and He will speak through them. Thank you, Jesus!

And today, I feel like I am new creation.  Praise the Lord for transforming my mind every single day, to be more in tune with Him. I let go of the spirit of criticism that has filled me with so much pride (Rather, God took it out of my hands, because nothing in me could ever let that go).  I will not be perfect, but I am praying for transformation, that my spirit of criticism will be one of encouragement instead. God is faithful, and He will do it. He is so good.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

What are we doing?

I implore you to pray.
Right now.
You've already spent twenty minutes scrolling down your Facebook page looking at stupid stuff.
Pray, really pray.
Ever been suddenly hit with the realization of how broken the world is? Of course, theologically and principly I know the world is broken.  But sometimes you just really, really really can feel how broken it is.
What are we doing?  Standing in our circles at church, ignoring the people who know no one and feel left out and alone?  God is love not a clique.  What are we doing? Letting our witness down for just one second. Gosh, the world was created for more than this.  We were created to be more than this.
So pray.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

a few pictures

 This is me, 19 and a junior. Preparing to go into ministry, starting with the kiddos and following where God says.  Easier said then done sometimes, but He loves me, so I will go.
 This is Campbellsville, my wonderful home and campus. It is the prettiest one I have ever seen.

These are my parents, whom I love and miss when I'm away. They are fantastic people.  Sorry for all the makeup, it was senior prom :)
 This is Chris. He's smart, kind, funny, loving, hard working, always makes me laugh, loves the Lord, wise, laid back, and the love of my life.
This is Mindy, my best friend and supporter.  We call each other out and we hold each other accountable and just love on each other.